This morning I sent a link to a friend of mine to a blog that made me giggle and tagged it with ‘This is the first one from [this blog site] that I’ve enjoyed in a while’.
Later in the morning, as we chatted, we talked about a growing trend among parenting-focused blogs.
For so long, it seemed there was an expectation on parents to never complain. We chose to be parents so we can’t complain about it. Seems a little bit ridiculous, but it was there. I would see rants on Facebook about how parents complaining about their children were annoying because we didn’t have to be parents if we didn’t want to be. Which is true I suppose. But to that point, you don’t have to go to work, but you do. Can you not have a bad day and express that? You don’t have to go to the gym, but you do. Can you not have sore muscles? You don’t have to live in the city you do – but you do. Can you not complain about traffic? You don’t have to drive the car that you do – BUT YOU DO. Can you not complain when the radiator
breaks, over heats, explodes? What do radiators do???
Parenting, just like anything else, is really hard some days. And really easy others.
So suddenly, parents everywhere were striking back with the ‘reality’ of parenthood.
There were blogs with titles like ‘I hate my kids sometimes’. Or ‘Why 2 year olds are little shits’. There was an uprising of complaint coming from parents. And, scattered through those blogs, there were some that touched us. Some that made us feel normal. But there were others – that crossed lines. And they continue.
It seems, in the name of honesty, we’ve gone from one extreme to another. Where we once felt we couldn’t complain, now all we do is complain.
Parenting is hard. Yes. Undeniably so.
But it is also wonderful. And – FOR REAL – my kids bring me so much joy it’s unreal.
There are OF COURSE moments when I have to step away from them. Moments when I lose my cool. Moments when they DRIVE ME SO NUTS!
But far outnumbering those moments are the ones wherein I am left weak in the knees by these people who I have walked with for every step in their lives.
Can it be okay for me to love my children? Is that allowed? Can I be the mom who doesn’t identify with the statement that ‘sometimes I hate my kids’? Because, seriously, never once have I hated my kids.
We need to find the line. The line between being honest about the pitfalls AND being honest about the mountain tops.
If your reality has you hating your kids – maybe seek some help. And I don’t mean that sarcastically. I mean that very tenderly. If you are hurting, find healing. If you can’t handle parenting, seek safety in places that offer it. If your kids are ruining your life, it’s time to change something.
My kids aren’t easy all the time. At this very moment actually, Charlotte is literally crying that she’s hungry as she chews on an apple. It’s infuriating. But her little toes make me happy. Her smile makes me smile. Days are hard and not always full of joy. But joy is real and it always finds it’s way back to me. In the moments when I’m crying because I’m so overwhelmed (and yes, that happens quite frequently), there always comes peace.
Let’s be honest about parenting. It’s hard – and great.
I love my kids.