Riddle Her Targeted – Why moms love Target and why you should too.

I know this has been said by millions of women – but please understand that it gets said, because it is right. It is truth. It is forever. It is all that is good in the world – Jesus would agree.

“Oh my gosh, I love Target”.

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(Why doesn’t my Target look like this?)

So here you are! The top ten reasons moms love Target.

FIRST ~ And this is an important one! It’s not Walmart. Now, let me be clear. While I am NOT a fan of Walmart, I see absolutely nothing wrong with shopping there. But why is the lighting so harsh? Are they trying to give people strokes? And why is it so poorly laid out? If I’m shopping for groceries, and need a pan for the dish I Pinned to Pinterest earlier, why is that so far away? Why not have groceries and kitchen supplies near each other? Why, Walmart, why? Target makes sense. It’s not as large. You can get from one end to the other in less than a minute (if you can bypass the 12 items you want on the way) and there is always a register open because, unlike Walmart, Target apparently understands that it is necessary to have more than 2 lanes open at a time.

SECOND ~ No self-checkout. There is nothing more intimidating than that self-check out. I am fairly bright – AND YET – I constantly feel like a moron when I have to check my own items. I am always buying something (wine) that requires my ID (wine). So I always have to “see cashier”(wine). Not to mention that said cashier is always standing there (wine). Watching (wine). Judging (wine). No sir, there are no self-check lanes at Target. You get real humans. And real human interaction. And wine.

THIRD ~ The One Spot. Where everything costs one dollar. Or three. Or five. But you feel like it’s one dollar. From school supplies, to mason jars, to cute treats for the kids, The One Spot is where it’s at. Just remember – one plus one equals two. Two plus two is four. Plus eleven is fifteen. Plus twenty is thirty five. And now you’re broke. QUICK! Go get wine. Milk and diapers can wait.

FOURTH ~ Everything is pretty. I don’t know how they do it. I didn’t need Thank You cards when I walked in, but they are adorable and now I own them. I don’t think anyone on the planet needs gold glittered piñatas. But you bet your butt Target has them. And they’re adorable. And you need one. Didn’t have the cutest ever notebook for writing tiny lists? Problem solved. Target sells one inch by two inch notebooks that will make your heart go pitter patter. But practice writing small. Wine helps with that.

FIFTH ~ We have lost touch with actual fashion. So Target makes us feel hip. Yeah, I said ‘hip’. When someone asks where we got our floppy hat, gladiator sandals, or flowy top, we tell them with pride that we got it at Target. We have lost touch with reality. Target is our Nordstrom. Skinny jeans for $30? Yes please. Are crop tops back in? Done. And one more hue of Essie polish won’t kill us. We have been consumed.

SIXTH ~ Target has a Starbucks. No more explaining needed.

SEVENTH ~ Anthropologie style home goods for non-Anthro prices. Want dishes that look like they’ve already been eaten on and then stored in someone’s attic for a few decades? Yes? Well, you have 2 choices. Anthropologie offers that very item for $400 per plate PLUS your first born son. Or you can go to Target and get a whole set for $50. Your choice. Don’t be dumb. (NOTE: They also have wine glasses. And mason jars with straws for wine on-the-go).

EIGHTH ~ Kids clothes. Whether you are shopping for a friends baby-to-be, or your own spawn, Target gives you that hipster kid chic at a fraction of the cost. We all want to be able to say our kid is cooler than the rest. Target makes that possible. Does your daughter need an infinity scarf and plaid button up? Yes. Does your son need vintage band tee’s and wooden sunglasses? Got’em, coach. Does your diaper bag look like a diaper bag? Get out of here. Target has diaper bags that look like small hipster luggage. Perfect.

NINTH ~ Target sells Tylenol. I don’t know why, but I am CONSTANTLY waking up with headaches.

TENTH ~ Target sells wine. Did I mention that yet?

Alright, so maybe you went in for toilet paper and walked out $200 poorer. But it was worth it.

And that’s why we love Target. Because Target loves us back. It gives endlessly. Target is there when the world has failed us. Target will never turn it’s back on us. It tells us we’re pretty and gives us hugs…

I swear.

Actual hugs.

xoxo

Hannah

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4 thoughts on “Riddle Her Targeted – Why moms love Target and why you should too.

  1. This is the funniest thing I have ever read. Though, I think I say that about just about everything you post. I miss you, friend.

    Like

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